내 머리 속의 지우개, REMEMBER

Genesis 3:19
In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.


She is a strong women which i have to say, living till the age surpasses the 90 years old, a women who experienced world war 2, raising up 9 kids by herself and the only regrets that i have was not able to see her when she was still alive.

When i got the news at 5.50 am yesterday, i was shocked. I wished i could set back time and to hold her hands and tell her that i love her. It hit me real hard that she is now forever gone. Yesterday and today my family and I held the wake service at Full Gospel Church and to be able to see all the friends and relatives from near and abroad at UK to come to see her for the last time is heart wrenching for me.

Jay did called me after the service ended, he comforted me with his words and to tell me "Cry if it would make you feel better. She has gone to a better place and she would love to have a rest there. Everything is alright. Do remember to eat also."

I tried to hold back my tears as we starts to sing songs of praises but today i could no longer hold back the tears. I look at her in the casket and whisper to her like how does a couple whispers beside their ears. I told her " Mama, Lord is with you now and i believe that you are happy there. I'm sorry and i felt really bad for not seeing you for the last time." My eyes starts to shed tears.

Along the way of procession to the Shah Alam Nirvana, I felt so remorseful seeing the sight of her casket moving nearer to the end. I broke down immediately as the casket are opened and we were allowed to spend a moment of time with her. We decorated the flowers around her and she looked really pretty. I slid a rose between her ear and another one at her hand. I looked upon her once again and uttered the word "I will miss you". When they start to seal the casket off, my mom broke down in front. I hug her from behind and comfort her as her hands closed her face. We cried there... My cousin were crying too there. We looked at the casket which were reeled in to the fire and the doors slide down slowly, the memory of me with her starts to projected across my mind. I wish that she can wait a little while longer, but she has chosen to be with the lord.

Dear Lord,

Do take care of her for me. No matter what, she is still the women of power. I do wish when i looked at the sky, i could see her smiling and to tell me that she is fine and happy to be at here.
Mama, see you again for some time to be able to hug you again. I believe the view up there is much nicer than here right mama? (b^-^)b

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

I promise to you that today and now would be my last time of crying. Gosh, i'm still crying now as i am still blogging. Ish... MAMA I LOVE YOU!!! BYE-BYE!!