내 머리 속의 지우개, REMEMBER

Well i have been reading other blogs most of the time and i found a few of them writes about ugly duckling. Few of them are yannick dtee and and sotong zhai.

So i decided to reveal the ugly side of me.
When i was in primary at the age 12 i weight approximately more than 55kg-60kg. I was chubby a bit. Yup. This is how i look when i was at the age of adolescence.

Before i transform myself, i looked very nerdy. Well way uglier than Henry in UGLY BETTY. I would self proclaim myself a worm booked and study type last time. The equation that forms me way back time is;

No nothing about fashion + self appearance = big time loser
would let mom do the selection of clothes x hair = mommy boy
all i care was all about the studies / scoring A's its in my mind = geeky.

take all the answer and multiply them = worlds biggest loser.


Well "the gay" term did not exist in my dictionary at all. I still remember that i will cut off pictures of guys wearing briefs secretly and hide between the bookshelves. Well that was like way at age 8 or 9 and i did not even know that the stroking thing i did was called "masturbation". I only knew it when i was 15. Cool huh? A stupid me... that's how geeky i was.
I don't even have the bravery in me. I lost my purity when i was 13 when some of the guys i barely knew molest my butt a lot of times when it was in the middle of assembly. Even when i went back to primary to receive an award for academic achievement, a female teacher smack my butt. ( T - T ) Is my butt that sexy?

How i started off?
When one of the days, i was reading newspaper and i came across the section which writes about sgboy.com ( it was back then ) currently now are called trevvy. It was in newspaper "the Star". How it can be in there? So i was curious about it and started to browse the net and be a member. From there i met interesting people, and tha'ts how i started to change.

As a member i have my bit of share also. Coming across phone sex or cyber sex. That was way stupid of me to give in that easily. Well i was young that time. I still remember that i would keep a whole list of the numbers and call them or they call me when they want. I have too many of them that i don't remember my first one. Oppss!!!

I start to lose tremendous weight and when i was back to Form 2, my friends was all amazed how slim i was. I weight about 45kg at that point. Yet still look ugly. In fact uglier..kekeke. I had a very fair skin. TRUE!!

Mom used to drink a lot of soya bean drink when i was in her tummy (^^). So when i was born the nurse told her; (Mom told me)

Nurse: Sayang-ar bukan perempuan.. sangat putih dan cantik
Translation >> So pity not a girl, so fair and beautiful..

Well my mom wanted so much of a girl but came out didi.. hahaha (>-<) I started to pick some of my clothes, reads about fashion - YES and NO for fashion. Last time i dress myself for disaster, but now i dress myself for perfection. My skin colour bring problem to me.. too fair..
Feed backs that i got was good. Friends will ask me "where did i get the clothes from", "You changed", "You look good in it", "WAUU!!" and all the praises. So its worthy.


Yet i still think i had a lot more work to do to change. Everyone got room for a change. Now my resolution is:

1.Now i would want to loose the specs i'm wearing. My friend tell me to loose it. But i have been wearing since pre-school and "blurry visions" runs in my family. My power is way through the roof. (TT) i don't know whether to do it or not. Guys tell me please....!!!!

2.My hair style. I'm still searching the one that suits me. I don't like to wear gels or wax. I precious my hair. Why? All the girls envy me because of my hair. I had a super duper soft hair. A comment i got from my friend when she touch my hair. "Oh my god!! Is is so soft" and she touches it for 5 minutes top.

3.To gain weight. I'm now weight about 4okg. Way too slim. Want to gain back to 50kg. I'm under my very own weight programme..kekeke.. and in one week i already gain 2 kg. That's great. (^^)

Another part is coming up. So stay tune...